For separated parents and their children, planning and clarity is key to a happy holiday season. “Coordinating holiday plans with family can be stressful, even when everyone is living in the same home,” said Attorney Cristie Buskohl, Associate Attorney concentrating in family and criminal law at Mertes and Mertes. “For those parenting children from two separate homes, arrangements can become even more complicated,” Buskohl added.
Thanksgiving traditions include family gatherings, large meals, and acknowledgement of the things for which we are most grateful. Our children are certainly at the top of that list. “Because Thanksgiving is normally celebrated on a single day, dividing parenting time can be challenging,” said Attorney Mitchel Johnston, Associate Attorney practicing in family and criminal law at Mertes and Mertes. “Some parents choose to alternate having the full day on Thanksgiving, with one parent having even-numbered years, and the other having odd-numbered years. Others choose to divide the day evenly, with one parent having parenting time with the children in the morning and the other exercising time in the evening,” Johnston explained.
“Unfortunately, it seems that every year we see contentious Christmas Eve and Christmas morning parenting time disputes,” said Magen Mertes, Partner of the Law Firm of Mertes and Mertes.
Whether gathering with family, observing special church services, or opening the gifts under the tree, experiencing those traditions with our children is important. “As with many other holidays throughout the year, some parents choose to divide the holiday evenly, while others alternate based on an odd-year/even-year schedule. Others just cannot agree on the division, and that could mean adding urgent court appearances to an already busy holiday season,” added Mertes.
For families who have previously been to Court in Illinois for a divorce case or family case, there should be a Parenting Plan in place. “I always strongly encourage my clients to include a holiday schedule in their Parenting Plans, for the very purpose of avoiding conflict during holidays,” said Attorney Buskohl.
“I explain to my clients that attorneys and judges always hope that you will never need to use the holiday schedule, because if you put your children first and communicate with your co-parent, you should be able to work it out,” explained Attorney Johnston.
“But, for those rough times that can happen when parenting from two homes, I want my clients to have a holiday schedule to fall back on,” Buskohl added.
When parents do not have a Parenting Plan with a holiday schedule, or cannot agree how to divide the holidays, a judge will decide. “In Illinois, the overriding consideration by the Court in determining parenting time, including holiday parenting time, is the best interests of the children,” said Attorney Buskohl.
“The judge will always put the children first; so that is what parents should do when trying to resolve these holiday disagreements,” added Mertes.
“If discussions fail, it is better to get in to Court ahead of the holiday season; otherwise you may not have a resolution before the holiday occurs,” explained Johnston.
Do you have your holiday parenting time in place?
The Law Firm of Mertes & Mertes can be contacted at 815-626-1500.
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